As I approach my thirtieth year of life, I began to look back to ten years ago... when I was worried about turning twenty.
From age 20 to 29, I feel like I was slowly feeling myself mature... with only occasional relapses and moments of terrible judgement. I'd always hoped that by the time thirty came around that I'd have all my ducks in a row and that I'd smoothly live out the rest of my life just being "me"... turns out it's just not that easy.
These are some lessons I learned over the past ten years. I'm sharing in hopes that someone out there younger than me can learn from them... or at least get an idea of what to expect from their own lives?! (:
1. Sometimes you need to move out, and move back in to start your life. For me, the moving out part was simple - I was eighteen, ready to be on my own. I chose dorm living, which came with it's own set of challenges. After a year, I moved back home. I made some great friends while living away from home, but I also made some terrible grades and some bad choices (clubbing and underage drinking come to mind). Being back home really helped straighten me out - I had to get a job, and I was supporting myself through school and work. I paid my own bills and still had the support and love of family.
2. It's perfectly normal to have ZERO ideas about what you really want to do with your life. I went to college. I still have not finished college. I wanted to be a teacher... and now I no longer want to teach because it's a profession that is no longer respected. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, but working for a company for over six years in the trucking business helped keep me afloat while I was figuring it all out.
3. Real love allows you to be yourself & comes when least expected. Love really did find me at the most importune time, but I didn't close the door. I'd been in a relationship in college - from 2004 to 2009 - and let it continue on for longer than I should have. It just wasn't right for me and for him. While I took forever figuring that out, life (and God) was busy formulating other plans for me. It wasn't but weeks after my relationship ended that I meet my [now] husband. We started talking and things progressed quickly... we were married the next spring. While it was weird, and what seemed fast to most people - was just right for us. I will never be the same again and this man of mine loves me for who I am, flaws and all.
4. Heartbreak is not something that will easily go away. I've dated and been hurt in my life more than I'd care to admit - by people that were very close to me and that I loved dearly. I will always hold a place in my heart for the people that walked away from me, but only because they helped me realize my true self and the strength I have to go on without them.
5. Even ramen noodles can be expensive. When we got married in 2010, we made plenty of money because we were both working. We went on dates and had great times... but then when I got pregnant and decided to quit working, we went down to just one income. It's been hard at times and budgeting money is so much more difficult than I ever imagined! We've learned a lot over the past 5 years but we are finally starting to get some things right in that area and it helps. So keep that in mind... watch your money! Don't buy stupid stuff on credit you don't need!
6. I'm replaceable. (To some people). This has always been hard on me. I'm a people-pleaser and I like to keep the people in my life happy and loved. I've always kind of thought of myself as special; one-of-a-kind; and that what I had to offer in a friendship was unique. I will never get over the friendships and relationships that I've lost in the last ten years. It hurts. It's hard. I hate saying goodbye. It's never easy trying to move on without someone you were used to having around. I'm forever thankful for these people because they have contributed to who I am, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt to be replaced.
7. It's okay to still have dreams and to go after them. While I've not finished college yet, nor do I have a career; I still have dreams! I really hope that my thirties open up more opportunities to pursue them! It's okay to dream - big and small!
8. Maturity is over-rated! Although I've dreaded turning thirty because I just don't have it "all together"... I've decided that turning thirty doesn't have to be the end of the world!! Just because I'm about to be thirty, doesn't mean I have to always ACT thirty! I figure, as long as I'm still fulfilling all my responsibilities as a wife and mother, then I should be able to do whatever I want! And if that involves spending late nights playing games with my girlfriends or staying up until 2am to finish a book that I'm probably too old to be reading in the first place, then so be it!!
My twenties weren't the easiest time of my life. They were hard, I learned a lot and I messed up a lot. After high school, I had things planned out... Go to college, graduate, get a good job, find a man, marry & have kids. Life sure doesn't go as planned, does it?! I still haven't accomplished some of those things on my list... but the ones I did accomplish have changed my life for ever and I wouldn't do a thing differently. Now that I'm almost to the THIRTY mark... I know that growing up is definitely overrated. But I'm still going to enjoy the ride!
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