Change.

For many people, January is a month of resolutions. Broken promises we make to ourselves saying that "we're going to do better this year" or that "we're going to become better people". For me, January has become a month of celebration and evaluation.

This is the month that I celebrate my birth. I thank God every day for the life He's blessed me with - and this month especially I thank Him for the thirty years I've been allowed to share with my family and friends. I've been blessed beyond belief with my husband and kids, and many other people in my life that love me and depend on me.

I've also learned is necessary for me to evaluate the past year of my life. Sometimes it brings up good memories - days of laughter shared with people I love, birthdays, holidays and vacations. Other things that come up are my short comings, deaths of people that were close to me, and dark days when I felt alone and insecure in my own little world.

2014 was definitely not my year. That doesn't mean it wasn't a good year with some great memories, milestones and people... or that I have regrets. I don't, really. I just didn't strive for better in the important areas of life, nor did I allow myself to dream. I feel like I lost a lot of myself this year, and I lost some loved ones that helped shape the woman I am today. It was not an easy year for me, but I did learn a lot and now it's time to apply that in my life, to my future.

2015 is going to be a year of change.

Change is not something that comes easy for me at all.. it's actually something that has always scared me and I've never dealt with or adapted well when life threw me a curve ball. I'm a type A personality and I have a back-up plan for my back-up plans. I use lists, numbers, and pens/paper to make my world function, and I don't deal well with mess or chaos. (I do know, by the way, that my son Ryan gets it very honestly from his Momma.)

Today, my Pastor seemed to be speaking right to me when he referred to people using God as a "life-raft". I was floored. I've been praying to God only when I need him most, and not in a consistent manner. I was reminded that not only do we need to PUT God first, He already IS. He already comes first, I'm just not allowing Him to BE first.

I've seen the fruits of what putting God first in your life can bring... I want that for my family. So, around here, things are changing. While I don't expect anything to change over night, or even in a big way... I do hope that all the little things that I'm doing to better my life today will pay off for my family in the future.

Money, to me, has always been a thing of value. That's one of the first things that I've got to change my way of thinking on. Money is not meant to be valued, it's meant to be given away. What you do with your money is what should be valued - tithing, donations, saving for the future. God knew long ago that money would be the number one struggle for us as humans. (That's why it's the most talked about topic in the Bible.) Giving is a spiritual act, not a financial one. It all belongs to God anyway.

I'll also be focusing on my personal spiritual walk. While I know that this doesn't directly change things for my family, it changes me. It shows my kids that making time for God should be a priority. I gave up my mornings with God to these two crazy boys who just want to play and eat pop tarts. I need to get back to spending that one on one time each morning in the word, and in prayer. I was so easy to let that time slip away from me, but I'm taking it back. I've been living in  state of difficulties and I've had a hard time giving it all up to God and trusting Him to take care of it like I should. It's time to allow myself to change.

Did you know that 48% of "church" people only go to church one Sunday a month?? That is one scary statistic. How can we be devoted to God and to putting Him first when we can't even set aside ONE HOUR a week to worship?? I want my kids to know that attending church every Sunday is important. Not only to further their own spiritual relationships with God, but to allow them to be around other kids who believe the same as them. I want my kids to make church and God a priority, and that has to start with me.

Change is necessary in life. It helps up learn, grow, and be better people. Change is almost always hard, but it's also inevitable if you want to get out of the rut your stuck in. So look into your own life and decide, what needs to change?? What do you need to change in yourself before your life can get better?? What do you need to change in your thoughts and attitudes to get right with God and to put Him first??