I am an Insecure Woman.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you.  

(1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT)

Jeremiah 17:7-8 gives us a definition of a secure person - grounded in Christ.  This is not yet who I am, but who I strive to be. I want to have that full and total trust in Him to secure me, I don't want to put my hope in an earthly future, but in Him and what His plans are for my life.

When I think of an insecure woman, I consider someone who's not one hundred percent happy with who they are as a person, spouse, mother or friend. She's probably holding on to a lot of thoughts that would hinder her relationships. She's uncertain about her feelings and desires being considered right or wrong in the eyes of others. Beth Moore says in the book that "An insecure woman is a complicated mix of confidence and self-consciousness." I completely agree. That's me.

My insecurities keep me from reaching out to people when I need help. I tend to feel like everyone else's problems are so much more important and complicated than my own, so I feel no need to burden them more. I prefer to 'suffer in silence'. I tend to set some very unrealistic expectations on other people. I expect people to 'read my mind' instead of just swallowing my pride and opening up about how I feel. It's something that I still do today and I'm working on it because I know that doing so has ruined relationships and friendships in the past.

In the book, Beth Moore talks about our 'false positives'. It's the ONE thing we think we can change to make everything else better. For me, it's my body. I've always felt that if I had a better body/weight that everything else would just fall into place. That's not necessarily the case. I have a wonderful husband who tells me more than once on a daily basis that I'm beautiful and sexy. Do I believe him? Yes, most of the time. Then when I don't, it's only because of memories from the past. From back in high school and before, of people telling me I wasn't pretty enough or popular enough. I've always allowed other people's opinions about me carry a lot of weight on what I do or how I look. It's time to change that and this journey is already teaching me so much about myself and how to do just that.

In my next post I'll talk about being in good company, sharing stories from the bible of insecure women AND men, as well as some more of my personal journey.

Here is some more scripture to ponder over;

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can 

do the good things he planned for us long ago.

(Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.  

(2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT)