To have a friend, you must first be one.

Proverbs 17:17  -  A friend loves at all times…

For me personally, friends have always come and gone from my life much like passing storms. Some friends weren't meant to stick around forever. Some were, and still are a huge part of my life.

But I'm not always the best friend I could or should be... I've let friends down. I've lost touch with people who meant a lot to me and there is no easy way to ever get that back. But I've also been hurt and betrayed by friends too. I've had friends cease to talk to me because I befriended their worst enemy... I've also had friends stop talking to me because their opinions about me changed.

When I was younger, in school and surrounded by many friends, it was a lot harder on me when I found out why someone didn't like me or why someone stopped being my friend for one reason or the next. Now that I'm older and it's so much easier to de-friend or block someone from my life - I'm much more aware of how important and necessary true friends are for me. And for my children.

I need friends who are there when I call, no matter what time of day and no matter how small the problem. Friends who rejoice with me when things are good, and cry with me when things are bad. Friends who are open and honest with me, but never judge me based on decisions I make for my own life. Friends who realize and recognize that we may have different interests and opinions on things, as well as other friends. Friends who are loyal. Friends who love my kids and realizes that they are in fact just kids. Friends that love me for ME.

It took me a long time (and a lot of growing up) to realize that I personally need to be these things, and do these things for my friends before I get the same in return.

I try to be a friend without any stipulations. I have friends who don't share all of my interests. I have friends who raise their kids completely different that I do, and some that don't have any kids at all. I have friends with very different life priorities and goals for themselves and yes I even have friends who associate with or who are very good friends with people that have hurt me before.

I recently read this blog that was written about two years ago while doing some research for this particular post. It lists 25 ways to be a 'true friend'. I'm inclined to agree with all of them. They all make sense and they would all be helpful in helping us sustain healthy adult relationships. 

Here is a section of what the author wrote that stuck with me the most though... "Not everyone has to be a close friend, but it’s integral to our happiness that we show people who we truly are, allow ourselves to know them in return, and then remind each other through actions—small or large—that we care.

We never need to be or feel alone in this world, but it’s up to us to create and allow opportunities to be together, enjoy each other, and be there for each other. It’s up to us to make our relationships priorities."

Side note to readers: This post was brought forth because of some things going on in my personal life that I feel like I've done all that I can do to resolve any problems except to just be a true friend to others. So, in conclusion of this blog post, that's what I plan on doing. Hopefully things will work out for the best, but please heed my advice and be the best friend that you can be to the people you love so that the relationships in your life that mean the most to you won't be lost forever.