What kind of parent are you??

As I get further into this parenting thing - I learn from myself, trial and error, and from friends about how to parent. I also learn the same ways about how NOT to parent. I have my own style, mostly based from how my parents raised me. I'm going to use this post, mostly for my own benefit, to talk about the different kinds of parenting styles. Be sure to comment and let me know what you think or about what kind of parent you are! Also, you can read THIS POST for some age appropriate discipline techniques.

Psychologists have determined FOUR different categories for parents over the years. I am going to list some characteristics here and then I'll talk about the category I think that I fit into!

First of all, we have the AUTHORITARIAN parent. This parent sets super strict rules in the household and failure to follow them always results in punishment. Most of these parents fail to have any communication or explanation to the children about the reasons behind the rules. Their go to answer for questions about the rules would probably be "because I said so". These parents have high demands and rarely are responsive to their children. Authoritarian parenting styles generally lead to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence and self-esteem.

The second type is the AUTHORITATIVE parent. These parents still have the rules that are expected to be followed, but it's a much more democratic relationship. These parents are willing to listen to and answer questions that the kids may have. They are also more apt to nurture and and forgive than punish kids when rules aren't followed. They are assertive but not very intrusive. Authoritative parenting styles tend to result in children who are happy, capable and successful in life.

The third type is the PERMISSIVE parent. Mostly known as the indulgent parent - little rules and few demands on their kids. These are the parents that have little control and rarely discipline their kids. They have low expectations of maturity and self-control. They are very non-traditional and very lenient when it comes to the kids boundaries. Typically avoiding confrontation, taking the status of a friend and not a parent in the home. Permissive parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school, or have learning disabilities due to the lack of learning at home.

The fourth is the worst kind of parent in my opinion. The UNINVOLVED parent. While these parents fulfill the kids basic needs, they are usually detached from their child's life. In the most extreme cases, these are the parents that will reject or neglect the kids needs all together. Uninvolved parenting styles rank lowest across the board. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem and are less competent than their peers in structured environments.

So, what kind of parent are you?

I'm an Authoritative parent. I can be relaxed on the rules now and then and allow my kid to have his freedom when it comes to some boundaries. But I do have rules and I expect them to be followed in the home and with how he's supposed to act in public. 

I expect my son to behave himself, especially in public. There is only so much I can do to punish him right now which means it's only communication and an occasional pop on his diapered booty. I'm not afraid to spank my son, but it's what I consider a last resort and mostly just to get his attention, not to hurt him or to inflict pain.

I pray that Ryan grows up happy and capable in life. I hope that my authority in the home helps him to deal with a structured life outside of the home. I hope that my efforts here and in his life allow him to grow up being able to follow rules and learn from me how to grow up to be the man that God wants him to be.