What's Your Love Style??

Lately I have been reading up on 'Love Styles'. Love Styles are models of how we as humans love one another. They are developed by a man named John Lee. He's identified six basic love styles that people use in their relationships. I'm going to list those six styles here and give you some basic details. I would love to hear from some readers what they think about this - if they agree, or if they can pick their love style from this list.



The first style is Eros; the style of Beauty; the most highly sensual style of love. These lovers are more typical in saying they "fell in love at first sight". They are erotic lovers, choosing who they love based on chemistry or intuition. These lovers tend to address loved ones with pet names and can be perceived as a hopeless romantic. The disadvantage to this style is the danger of living in a fantasy world.

The second style is Ludus; the style of players. These lovers choose who they love by 'playing the field' and typically recover very quickly from a break up. They tend to view marriage as a trap and are prone to be cheaters. Relationships are more of a challenge to them, something to win or lose and they view sex with a partner as a conquest or a game. The disadvantage of this style is the likelihood of infidelity.

The third style is Storge; the style of being friends first. This is a love that gradually develops out of friendship, sometimes these lovers are not able to pinpoint when the friendship turned to love. These lovers want their mate to be their best friend. They place a lot of importance on being committed to their partner, marriage is meant to bond them together. The disadvantage of this style is the lack of passion, sex tends to take a back seat to everything else.

The fourth style is Pragma; the style of being rational and realistic. These lovers choose their partners based on a shopping list of what they expect their partner to be. They want to find value in their partners and typically weigh the cost and rewards of their relationship. They view marriage as a potential asset and sex as a reward of sorts. The disadvantage of this style can be the lack of emotion.

The fifth style is Mania; the style of being obsessive and possessive. These lovers typically have a low self esteem and place a lot of importance on their relationships. Manic lovers usually discover their lovers by haphazard means. They view marriage as ownership and sex is a reassurance of love. The disadvantages include jealousy, obsessiveness, and insatiability.

The sixth style is Agape; the style of self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love. They are typically religious or spiritual people. They view lovers as blessings and wish to care for them. They avoid causing pain to their partners and are usually very generous. Marriage is a sacred trust and sex is a gift. A disadvantage is that it can induce feelings of guilt or incompetence in a partner.



So, what kind of lover are you?? Most people probably love in more ways than one, or are stronger in one style than any of the rest. I'm a mixture between the storge and agape styles. My husband is my best friend, but I also view him as a HUGE blessing in my life. I would do anything for him and I am very generous with my love to him and to our son!