"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of
control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you
sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
- Marilyn Monroe
control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you
sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
- Marilyn Monroe
This quote quickly describes how I'm feeling these days. My mood swings are getting worse, I'm not sleeping well at all, and my child doesn't know how to stop moving until well after midnight! I'm going to need this kid to get a grip on my daily schedule already! I'm about >thisclose< to pulling all my own hairs out!
Moving on... this weekend was a bit of a stress filled one. All the decisions and realizations of how much money having a baby is going to cost us has started to weigh in on my daily thoughts and worries. Don't get me wrong, we have GREAT health insurance... and thankfully I have wonderful friends and family as well, but seriously all the big decisions are going to wear me thin!
It was hard enough to register for baby things that we're going to need in the near future... what happens when it comes time to pick a day care / pre-school or what if I decide to home school?! I begin to think I'm going to deprive my child of something I had in school by keeping them at home? Am I being selfish for wanting to not work and be a stay at home mom? What if my kid grows up to realize that he hates us or resents us for a choice we make now?
I'm begining to realize that being a Mom is a precious job and that I should respect mine more most of the time. I never thought that being a Mom would be hard... but seeing my friends do it, and knowing that I'm about to be one, reassures me that I made the right choice with the man I married. We can do this together and we will raise the best child we can. That's really all I can hope for, right?!
Back to the quote at the beginning of this post. I can be a lot of things - impatient, selfish, impossible, moody, emotional and you can even throw a little crazy in there... but if you can't handle me now when I'm at my wits end, had no sleep and don't know what's causing my bad moods other than hormones... then I don't need you in my life! (: Thankfully I have a husband that no matter how rude or cranky I am to him, he always tries to find a way to fugure out what's wrong or if there is anything he can do to make it better and I love him more every day for it. He means the world to me and I would not want to raise this child with anyone else.
Wesley & Ryan - You BOTH have my heart... forever and ever. Amen. I love you.
Moving on... this weekend was a bit of a stress filled one. All the decisions and realizations of how much money having a baby is going to cost us has started to weigh in on my daily thoughts and worries. Don't get me wrong, we have GREAT health insurance... and thankfully I have wonderful friends and family as well, but seriously all the big decisions are going to wear me thin!
It was hard enough to register for baby things that we're going to need in the near future... what happens when it comes time to pick a day care / pre-school or what if I decide to home school?! I begin to think I'm going to deprive my child of something I had in school by keeping them at home? Am I being selfish for wanting to not work and be a stay at home mom? What if my kid grows up to realize that he hates us or resents us for a choice we make now?
I'm begining to realize that being a Mom is a precious job and that I should respect mine more most of the time. I never thought that being a Mom would be hard... but seeing my friends do it, and knowing that I'm about to be one, reassures me that I made the right choice with the man I married. We can do this together and we will raise the best child we can. That's really all I can hope for, right?!
Back to the quote at the beginning of this post. I can be a lot of things - impatient, selfish, impossible, moody, emotional and you can even throw a little crazy in there... but if you can't handle me now when I'm at my wits end, had no sleep and don't know what's causing my bad moods other than hormones... then I don't need you in my life! (: Thankfully I have a husband that no matter how rude or cranky I am to him, he always tries to find a way to fugure out what's wrong or if there is anything he can do to make it better and I love him more every day for it. He means the world to me and I would not want to raise this child with anyone else.
Wesley & Ryan - You BOTH have my heart... forever and ever. Amen. I love you.
Hang in there, Megs! You're going to be a WONDERFUL mommy and God will take care of you and your family! Plus, you have a pretty awesome cousin/bestie who will do her damndest to make sure you and little Ryan are ALWAYS taken care of!! No worries!
ReplyDeleteIt's normal to feel like you're feeling, but just remember what I told you: At least you're not on the oregon trail!! You could be raising your kid on some desolate prarie somewhere! lol! :)
No covered wagon for you chica! So keep that chin up! Everything is going to be just fine!
I love you!
Thanks Kim. I needed that! Love you!
ReplyDelete